Friday morning I ate a huge breakfast of a plate of fruit, and then a bowl of oatmeal, so I was not hungry until around 2, 2:30. I ordered from Takism a "Sheppard's Salad" which is diced tomatoes, onions, and cucumbers and asked for them to go very light on the oil. Also has their awesome lentil puree soup, and a falafal wrap. Smartly, and in keeping with my Lenten promise I did not order the bread with hummus.
But today, with the snow coming down in buckets, I immediately thought of 10 bars I would rather be in enjoying the snow with glasses of whiskey, a plate of fries, and fellow fun seekers. Tradition dictates that is what one does when the city is socked with snow.
Friday night a buddy came into town and we went out. In the old days the pursuit of fun usually meant bar hopping and skipping dinner until around midnight when I would crave a couple of slices of pizza. This past Friday I stupidly forwent dinner as we bar hopped around Manhattan. As the night kicked into high gear around 11 PM I was hungry and began to envy and get annoyed with those around me as intoxication lubed everyone around me into joyful celebration. That night I thought to myself, "sobriety sucks." Clearly, I put myself in this position. I did not march to my own drummer, instead I lived a life of desperately fun-chasing grumpy sober guy.
So, great, I resisted temptation for the 400th time, but I was not in a position to enjoy myself.
The night ended, like they all do, at my local, P.J. Clarke's. Seeing bar friends at 1 AM with silly grins and cackles I realized that living the current life without drinking was not fun. I should have done things I enjoyed and been fast asleep at that hour instead of trying to relive the good old days, days replete with horrible eating habits, drunkenness and all around unhealthy living. Although some people complemented me on how I look I had to ask myself, "Why am I here?"
Although those old days contributed to my life-threatening health, they were fun. I have to find new fun.
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