'Til Tuesday

Yesterday I think I decided that I may have gone temporarily back to being 100% vegan. In the past month my weight has increased, started to decrease and now is a bit stalled.

Although I highly suspect it was the drinking (empty calories), plus the poor eating while drinking that has kept me from my goal of being 225 lbs, I just want to reintroduce more discipline in my life. My veganism promoted discipline for me. Obviously, skinless chicken and fish is a part of a healthy diet found in Eat to Live, but, for me, when in doubt, go back to what worked in the past. Short-sighted, I know, but I am a little frustrated and I know what worked in the past.

Giving up the drink would be easier too, but, I'm sorry, this culture demands that I share a drink with people. This week alone I am meeting an old boss, an old co-worker, my old assistant, and my cousin from LA. Yes, I could drink seltzer with all, but it, and maybe this is where I have a fundamental problem in thinking, it just seems rude. I experienced too many people who were disappointed that I did not share a drink with them during my vegan quest. So, one glass of wine is all I will have.

Yesterday, I had a banana, then oatmeal, then my salad, but I did not go to the gym because I had a golf instruction at lunchtime. For dinner I just munched on cherries, by far my favorite fruit. And then I made a smoothie. That was it for dinner and I got a stomach ache, not terrible, but I felt bloated and sore. Maybe I had too much fruit?

I am now about to head for the gym. You know who has become my motivator? Some guy on my floor that I do not know. He is a chubby, bespectacled computer programmer or something. Everyday, like clockwork he goes to my gym. Looking at him on the street you'd never imagine him having a gym membership, but he goes every single day. Anytime I am feeling like I don't really have time to go, I watch him lope by, and I just shake my head, grab my bag and head to the gym.  Oh, there goes Lumpy, I gotta go....

Weekend Follies, and Forbearance

Saturday I had to go to Brooklyn to pick something up at the FedEx receiving center.

Even though Brooklyn is a great borough, the East River is a psychological barrier to Manhattanites, and it is a real shame. The three minute subway ride is not utilized enough by my friends and I. I decided on my way back to stop off in Williamsburg. A cool place for hipsters, it was great to walk around and see Mom & Pop shops and restaurants that, unlike Manhattan, are not part of major conglomerations.

I saw a few interesting vegetarian restaurants I wanted to stop into, but the USA vs. England soccer match was going on so I chose the famous Radegast Beer Hall. A great German beer garden was a perfect place to watch the World Cup, but not a perfect place to have lunch! Stuck in the "when in Rome" mentality (a real Achilles heel for me) I ordered a sausage, sauerkraut and stein of beer.

In between cheering team USA, I met a girl who's sister is a vegan so I was able to chat about my blog, and my lack of progress.

Saturday night I had a date with the Encouraging Nurse. I picked Candle 79, the great vegan restaurant. Why? I like it. That's it. I knew it would be a great date place, and being vegan was really an after thought for me!

The meal, as always, was great.  Afterwards, unlike the past 1,000 dates of my prior indiscretions we went for a walk. Not a bar. Walking around Central Park at night was something I had not done in years, and it was so nice. Instead of chatting over a cocktail, we chatted as we walked through the well lit, and safe park passing the boat house, and the beautiful Bethesda Fountain.

We then went to Lexington Bar & Books, a very cool cigar bar. I needed something, so instead of a bar, I chose, with her enthusiastic blessing, to sit in leather chairs and smoke a cigar. I did, however, order an excellent glass of Rye as well. After that we walked her dog Henry. I found a blackberry on the sidewalk and was able to find the very thankful owner at 2:30 in the morning which made me feel good about just doing the right thing.

I walked home, and it was 3:00 in the morning. I stopped into P.J. Clarke's and it was pretty interesting to see all the drunks and marvel how I used to swim in these waters. Glad I was there sober as a judge. I then caught the band at the Pig 'n' Whistle closing the bar at 4:00 AM. The last time I closed a bar I was a drunk sweaty mess, and now I was more on an anthropological quest to see the dark nightlife of NYC without diving into the bottom of a bottle.

The late night made my Sunday a tad "slow" but I didn't feel that shameful hangover, rather, I was just simply tired.

I had a large sushi lunch, and at night a bowl of cherries.

This week I strive for a much healthier, smarter lifestyle.  As you can see, this mixing and matching of the old and new lifestyle is a tremendous challenge and though I am keeping steady, I am not moving forward!

Tomorrow is another day.

No Progress, but No Regress

So, a 16 year-old girl attempts to sail the Seven Seas alone in horrendous weather and is able to blog each day. What's my excuse? I don't have one. Apologies.

This past week was an interesting and I end it no lighter in weight, and feeling no better. However, I generally ate well, and worked-out hard. So, what was the deal? Cheating. Well, not cheating per se, but not following the nutrient dense plan in Eat to Live more rigorously! If I was my goal weight of 225 lbs, I would look on this week as not bad. If I am 250 lbs and trying to make my goal I look on this week as OK, but not good enough! Living a life that sustains your weight allows for some indulgences. Living a life that is in the middle of a goal to lose weight that allows some indulgences just prolongs the process.

The accolades for where I have come thus far are now totally meaningless because there are people rooting for me to meet my goal, and I myself are waiting for me to meet my goal!

This week was interesting because Monday night I met up with a girl who I last saw in 1983. A friend from 9th Grade who left the state, and whom I reconnected with on Facebook. Looking now like Nicole Kidman it was great to reconnect with her and chat about old times and talk about what she thought about me in my youth. This is important to me since I feel I have erased some of that kid in my raucous thirties and very early forties. Son of a gun, I was a pretty nice guy back in the day!

We met at Bryant Park Grill, up on the roof on a gorgeous evening overlooking one of the most beautiful parks in the city. We shared a bottle of wine and I had the hummus plate -- not smart since I had too much bread.

The next night, Tues., in a crazy coincidence my old English and Religion teacher from Jr. High was in town from California and being a good place to meet that exemplifies the greatness of NYC we met at Bryant Park again. This time I just had a beer and an avocado sandwich. Mr. Lynn (calling him Mike was a little odd, but I did it) shared thoughts of what it was like to teach us right out of college. Apparently, in addition to being "nice," from the teacher's angle I was always going for the laugh in class. Sometimes to excess, but my teacher said that as a testament to my parents I always knew when I crossed the line and I did respect authority.

Finally, I spent the week lifting more weights than I normally do. I am still seeing a gut that is bigger than I want, but my upper body is gaining more muscle mass and definition.

Staying steady is not my goal, losing weight is, so even though I am not going backwards, my forward progress is minuscule.

Redneck Weekend

Saturday morning the male bonding trip took off for Pennsylvania. I would witness my first NASCAR race, and all the cultural entrapment's that go along with it.

With 6 guys in a SUV hooting and hollering as we drove through NYC, through NJ, and into PA, it was only a matter of time before a bottle White Lighting was broken out. After all, part of being a guy on a road trip is to replicate everything you did, said, and thought between the years of 16-20.

This might end up being a long weekend! But, I knew I had to be strong during this test! As coffee and bagels smothered with cream cheese were munched on, I made sure to enjoy my breakfast of two bananas.

Once we met with the RV and set down stakes at the Pocono 500 I looked at a battle field littered with cases upon cases of beer, every sort of bag of chips you can think of, every cookie imaginable from Oreos to Chips Ahoy, and plenty of hot dogs, hamburgers, marinated chicken, and a giant side of beef. This was going to be a real BBQ through and through in the heart of NASCAR country. Had I known the menu (and got up earlier), I would have picked up at least some fruits and vegetables!

As mentioned this was billed as a weekend of excess, and I happily agreed to come way back when I was on my vegan quest. Now, I was dreading the challenges.

The first thing I noticed was that like all stereotypes there is a kernel of truth to it. In the case of a NASCAR race, it was a corn field of truths. People are passionate about their car racing, and they certainly dress the part. However, the sheer number of obese people was pretty surprising, and sad. Outside of the mullet haircuts, trucker hats, and Confederate flags, there was the preponderance of fat people. One woman who worked at the track was so incredibly obese that she could barely move, and her 7 year old daughter was well on her way to becoming terribly fat. I was simultaneously repulsed (she was missing teeth, and was a real, filthy mess - clothes, etc), and felt sorry for this woman. I made it a point to say hello, and be friendly, but it shocked me how large this woman could have gotten - she was easily 500 lbs. And her poor daughter! A majority of the men I saw (if you take out all the military participating in the pre-race festivities) had significant beer bellies, or were obese.

But look what there is to eat - there were fast food joints on every corner, and no food substance at the race could be considered even remotely healthy. However sad, it must be said that people must learn to cook for themselves more, and the sheer act of doing so will greatly decrease the amount of high-fat, processed food they intake. Bad food is cheap and plentiful and obviously good tasting since an entire generation is now subsisting on it.

Now that I have appropriately criticized others, lets talk about myself. The good news is that I drank about half of what I did on Memorial Day Weekend and enjoyed many bottles of water between beers. Oh, I drank to excess at times, for sure, but what constitutes excess to me now is much less than what it used to be.

Eating wise, I fell victim to the easy snack - cookies and chips. Now, even when I was my heaviest I did not eat cookies (never) and chips (very rarely). But when you are sitting around watching cars go by you at 200 MPH (the sound is deafening...literally) you snack out of habit. You may not be hungry, but if your buddy dives into a bag of Doritos, well, that looks good to you too. Then I got sucked into the vanilla oreos -- it was a little like crack to me. Shameful!

So, snacking wise I was horrible. Horrible by my new standards (more strict), but still horrible.

Drinking wise I was far from ideal, and had way too many, but it was half of what I had a couple of weekends ago, and 1/4 of what I used to drink in similar circumstances.

It was on this weekend trip that I also had steak for the first time. A giant slab of beef my buddy brought from his restaurant was grilled up.

Here is the deal. It was delicious. Sorry, but it was. But I had no knee-jerk reaction like I wanted this once a week, or even once a month!

My education on food is such that I am mature in my understanding of food. I can't say that my all vegetarian meal at 21 Club was any more or less delicious than this perfect steak, but I can tell you that my body wants to eat the vegetarian dish more often than the meat dish.

The weekend was lots of fun and we played poker until 2 AM to decide who got the best sleeping arrangements, second best, and so on. I was fourth out of seven so that meant I got to sleep in the RV and not outside in the tent.

I felt like garbage Sunday night as we limped back into the city, but, what can I say, it was expected.

The key for me is to keep such weekends extremely rare.

Finally, back to the steak. I know some people are disappointed and was hoping it would taste weird or awful, but it didn't. However, our grill master was just slicing off pieces for us to eat like Neanderthals, The steak done medium was very good, the steak done medium rare was not so much. That tasted a bit weird and chewy. But then I thought, I always ate my steak medium rare. Why? Tradition! Men eat steak medium rare, but I realized I don't really like it as much medium rare. And so another element of my lifestyle comes into play. Eating things because of tradition, or in the manner born.  It really is ridiculous that I would eat something because I thought I "should."  Anyway, the medium steak was very good, but I knew it would be a rare thing for me to eat indeed. Yes, I felt it sitting in my stomach afterwards - another reminder that a mostly plant-based diet keeps your whole body feeling better, lighter, regular and more natural.

Redoubling My Efforts

So very sorry for the delay.

Friday night I met my good friend and father of 4 for a drink before heading to the FX Reunion. One of my closest friends, he once pulled me aside for a heart to heart about 5 years ago and asked if the way I was living my life was truly in my own best interest. Let me tell you, for a guy to say to another guy, "Hey, maybe you should let up a bit" regarding an over-indulgent lifestyle takes sheer guts. I will forever be thankful and appreciative of him for that.

We met at the outside bar next to Grand Central Terminal. I sipped one beer, while he downed two. I have known him for 16 years and in all our drinking days (especially when he was single) that never, ever, ever happened. It was always my two to his one. So I felt really good pulling back on the reins.

We went to Dewey's Flatiron for the reunion, and saw people I have not seen for more than a decade and a half. As a result, I looked more or less the same, girth wise, since it was during these years at FX that I first crept above the 250 lbs mark. Consequently, except for more wrinkles and the odd grey hair, I was told I looked about the same. FX was a special place since so many of the unknown hosts of the different shows, and drinking pals of ours, went on to some serious fame like Tom Bergeron, Jeff Probst, Orlando Jones, and Phil Keoghan.

For dinner my buddy and I went to P.J. Clarke's where my friend ordered the famous burger, and I the salad. He had some choice words for me, friendly ribbing, that I changed too much. But, I love the fact that I had a great time, kept cool control over my drinking, and ordered a salad without a second thought in a situation that screamed male bonding over burgers!

I had a few drinks, maybe a couple more than I wanted to, but all in all I was in complete control, and going for the salad instead of their iconic burger proved that.

Hurdle 1...Cleared.

Well, the first hurdle was pretty much cleared.


I met my date at Le Rendez-Vous wine bar on the Upper East Side. Cheesy name, huh? But a very nice place.

Now, I have run into this women a few times over the years at either one of my favorite bars near her, Doc Watsons, or at my local, P.J. Clarke's. I picked a wine bar because A.) It was neutral territory, and B.) Sipping wine is more civilized, and on a scorching hot and humid day drinking beer would surely test my goal to keep it at just two drinks.

She being a nurse at Sloan-Kettering, dealing with cancer patients, first generation Irish, and seemingly always at a bar I assumed my teetotalery would be awkward for her. However, it became apparent that the Encouraging Nurse was far from a bar-fly, never drinks more than one or two when out, and was actually staying off the sauce this week (she is also a runner) - she was only drinking because she thought it would be awkward for me! So, in this NYC culture of the drink being the ties that bind, we both realized our foolish assumptions, and that sipping seltzer would have been just fine on this first date. But, being 2 glasses in before our mutual confessional it was a little late.

I also found out that the only reason she went out with me is that I now look different and seem different; not so much because I am slimmer, but I look healthier, and my skin looks more alive (yes, longtime astute readers, that's right, I heard the same thing from the Skeptical Doctor - really, I didn't have bad skin before!)

Well, we shared a bottle of wine, and as a gentleman I picked up the slack, so I had 3 glasses of wine to her 1 to finish the bottle.  And then we got up to go walk her dog (Old me would have said, "Screw the dog, let's go to another bar!"), but the bartender poured us another glass on the house. Being the height of ungentlemanly and uncouth behavior, they had to be drunk...drank? Drunken? Whatever, we stayed for the buy back. However, over the course of a full four hours I had only four glasses of wine - I mean, I could drive a car after that!

So to me, that was a victory. It wasn't two, but it was greatly slowed to 1 per hour. The real victory, however, was as I walked home (we met at 6 PM and didn't have dinner), I craved every bit of food that I passed on 2nd Avenue, so in succession starting at 75th it was Mexican, Italian, Pizza, Italian, Sushi, Burger, Thai, Burger, Pizza, etc. It was a gravitational pull no matter how sober I was! But...

I grabbed a Mediterranean salad and happily chomped on my greens at home.

Why the Guilt?

I always walk around with guilt. Call it Catholic guilt, what have you. The other day my boss sent me an email that said, "You have a second to talk?" Well, my stomach sank and I immediately flipped through my brain like a slide show every time I came to work after him, or did not call a client, or took a longer lunch than appropriate. Someone of authority wants to talk to me? I must be in trouble. As it was, he wanted some confidential advice. Whew! Today limping home I watched a couple of young, spry women run past me on the street. "Ugh," I thought, "I'm such a lazy loser, I should be exercising!" But wait! I am walking home FROM THE GYM, with a bag filled with sweat-ladden, well worn gym clothes, as these thoughts go through my head!

I can only surmise that when I get down on myself (like my actions over the weekend) it sticks like glue. For the last two days I ate extraordinarily healthy, and had good work-outs in the gym. I will try to explore that guilt more at a later date.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with cold sweats for the second time in a row. Answer - detoxing from the weekend. When I was on my vegan, no alcohol diet from Nov. 1- May 1 I never remember waking up in the middle of the night - not once. So, today, I loaded up on fruit for breakfast. I also still felt dehydrated. And my trusty oatmeal, peanut butter, and raisins.  For years and years until recently, say the last year or two, I did not eat breakfast, now I cannot function without a healthy one! Let me reiterate about habits here - in the months (and years) just prior to my vegan quest I ate eggs almost every single day. I love eggs! Hell, I loved eggs all my life -- as proof I have an old cassette tape circa 1970 that my mother made for my father in Vietnam and she goes on and on about how much I loved my scrambled eggs as a two year old! And, I loved bacon back then too I might ad!

I have been off of My Vegan Quest for one month, and except for three times in Ireland, I have not had any eggs. It is incredible. The large amount of eggs I used to eat were just terribly unhealthy. I have no desire for them.

I visited Haru for lunch and got the typical two orders of edamame (without salt), miso, and salad. But what used to fill me up, did not. I think it is because I did not eat terribly healthy for three days over the weekend my brain and body began to change and what used to fill me up, did not. I then ordered a sashimi appetizer. Yes, I was still hungry, but I knew better and walked away after that.

I went to the gym after work, and though my right knee is swollen, it does not hurt, so I hopped on the bike. I was stoked that I was filled with energy and I rode at a quick pace for 20 minutes on a high (14-16) intensity level. Working up a good sweat, and with my knee starting to ache I jumped off and did my abdominal exercises - very intense today, 3 sets of 40 full rotations with the medicine ball, and 3 sets of 30 crunches. Then I got on the elliptical and chugged along for a quick pace.

Then the steam room, then the scale- I crested at about 244 lbs (down from 302 lbs) just at the end of my vegan quest, and now I am about 252 lbs which really depressed me, but just for a second. I was not surprised because of the way I tried to moderate my life the past month. I know what I did wrong, and I was already back on my dogged pursuit to reach 225 lbs.  Maybe that is why I felt guilty (for no good reason) when I saw those people running. I should be proud of the past two days, and of my current mindset!

For dinner I popped into Pig 'n' Whistle to watch both the Yankee game, and Stanley Cup (and I need activity around me). I had 16 oz of OJ (probably twice what I should have had) and it tasted amazing after the gym! I also drank about 5 pints of water. They had an Asian Chicken salad that was just lettuce, carrots, cabbage, cucumber, and grilled chicken - fantastic, and no oil or butter or anything. I ordered with dressing on the side, and did not pour it on. However, I tasted the dressing and it was delicious, but I only sprinkled less than a teaspoon on.

I have tried to combine my Spartan, vegan life of the past six months with my old lifestyle thinking I can do it. Well, I admit it, I cannot. Going back to all my old temptations and thinking I can still live a healthy lifestyle and continue to lose weight was pure folly. Even just a couple of drinks makes me make poor food decisions! It is still all or nothing for me! So my first try at getting off my vegan quest and seamlessly weaving in my old life was like changing a tire at 60 mph.

Time to slow down. And if the last two days are any indication, it will be a smooth ride.

However, I have three challenges facing me this week, one of them is huge. Thurs: I have a first date with someone - need to keep it to two glasses of wine, max. Would it be easier to do the seltzer route like I have with many dates over the past 6 months? Absolutely! But, I suspect it might be awkward for her. Now, I know, I know, that sounds asinine, but, just root for me to keep to two glasses of wine, and leave it at that! Fri: I have a reunion of my old work, the cable TV network, FX Networks. There was such a bond between the people who worked at FX at the launch back in '94, that this reunion is really like a 50 year High School reunion every time we get together at the local bar we used to all drank together at 15 years ago. I think I can escape the drinking trap here. Pretty confident I can, but it will be tricky! Finally, and this is scary: Sat. and Sun: a friend rented an RV for a weekend watching a NASCAR race in rural Pennsylvania. I am not a fan, nor have I ever been to such a race. It has one purpose, to get 7 close friends together and play cards, BBQ, and drink alot. I agreed to this way back when I was still on the vegan quest and thought it would be a fun diversion for me, even a reward.  Backing out would be poor form, wimpy, and wrong, as this is a guy bonding trip that everyone is exited about. Even though I will avoid such outings in the future I am locked into this one. This will be the biggest test for me yet.

And I used to be worried I would have nothing to write about after I ended the vegan quest. Geez! Well, the weight loss quest continues, and will do so in earnest despite all the hurdles!

Back on Track

Today as I sit and watch the Yankees game I am thrilled with how I lived my day today - that I had a breakfast of oatmeal and fruit. A lunch filled with salad, and a dinner of salad (veganistically feeling slightly guilty, for no good reason, that I added a tablespoon of tuna to my salad), and one of my famous blackberry and cherry smoothies.

My knees are still quite swollen and sore so my gym work-out at lunch consisted of abdominal work - balancing on my tail bone and twisting side to side with a 20 lbs medicine ball, and then crunches holding the ball aloft. I then did these military push-ups where I started on my elbows then lift up to a push-up, do a push-up, and then repeat 10 times. It was one of my first exercises I learned when I started this endeavor and that combined with my abdominal work (I do about 5x the amount I did when I first started) was a good reminder how far I came. I then did curls and arm presses with free weights. I have not done them in a while so my arms felt rather weak. I ended the work-out with 3 sets of arm presses on a machine.

I did not do any cardio, but my heart rate was up and I worked up a good sweat. Later in the steam room I started to think about Ted Koppel's son who died after an all day drinking binge. He was my age, and I kept thinking what a terrible way to go - whether it be drinking, or drugs, or even over eating, to just poison your body until it shuts down forever. I really felt guilty over my Memorial Day Weekend even though I drank less than a typical big weekend (still way too much). I am actually proud of this new mindset, and will continue to master moderation in partying like I have been able to, for the most part, master moderation in eating.

The warm weather and humidity is pretty uncomfortable, but I remember how brutal it was when I was 300 lbs!

Memorial Day Weekend

Well, it was not as debaucherous as in year's past, but I spent the weekend in a beautiful home on the New Jersey Shore with a bunch of hard-charging guys. I guess putting myself in that position is part of the problem.

Friday Night was a typical Shore weekend that included barhopping, shots, and pizza at 2 in the morning. Angry at myself for trying to relive the glory days of fun, sun, cocktails and girls (I ask myself, were there even glory days from my past, or did I take a few great days out of the last 20 years and string together my own narrative, like the fish story you heard growing up that kept getting bigger and bigger as your Uncle got older, and the story more refined?), I was determined to make my Saturday count.

I got up at 9 AM, an unheard of hour since I woke up briefly at 6 AM and heard the house of revelers behind us still partying, and prepared for a run.

I was staying at a friend's place in Belmar which is a town filled with families, but also chock-full of young guys on steroids, and with enough tattoos to make the Navy envious, and enough hair-gel to make no one envious...except other like minded, self-described Guidos, with their hats on crooked strutting about the beach like they owned it. And some of the girls are just as obnoxious with plenty of body ink, piercings, fake boobs, big hair, and bigger mouths. It is no wonder that a TV show about these young people is such a hit, it's like watching a car crash, and all the normal, family-oriented Italian-Americans are justifiably up in arms over this TV show, and these few embarrassments they see daily on the beach. The saving grace? The town next door, and a short jog away, is Spring Lake - a gorgeous town dubbed the "Irish Riviera" because of all the wealthy Irish-American New Yorkers who have been building mansions down there for generations. It is truly one of the most beautiful towns I have ever been in and definitely gives tony Southampton a run for their money.

Saturday was the famed Spring Lake 5 Mile race for charity. It drew over 7,000 runners! I actually tried to sign up for the race a couple of weeks ago, but it was already closed.

My knees were feeling up to it, and I was motivated by the fact that I had a night like I did, but was up at 9 AM with my running shoes on. Being the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend, the start of Summer, all the shops were open for business at this hour and plenty of spill over from people at the Spring Lake 5 which started at 8:30 AM.

It was raining slightly, a mist really, and the fog was still hanging over the beach. I could not have painted a more gorgeous setting running along the boardwalk and then onto the beach. With the mist, and the fog, and my adrenaline pumping as I projected my old body forward in a trudging jog through the pristine sand one song kept repeating in my head over and over, and with great respect to my dear British friends, I confess it was "Foggy Dew." With Ireland still fresh in my mind, and the fog and mist early in the morning, I could not help but play it over and over like a slow (to match my pace) march through the sand. But being American and Memorial Day Weekend I suspect my beloved English brothers and sisters would not mind that I chugged along the beach humming 'But to and fro in my dreams I go and I'd kneel and pray for you, For slavery fled, O glorious dead, When you fell in the foggy dew.'

I had no watch, and no marker for distance so through the foggy dew (sorry, again, I promise to run to "Old Britannia" today on the treadmill!) I would see the last pavilion in the great distance, and as I got closer, I tested myself to run past the new pavilion I could make out in the fog and distance. Shortly, I was in Spring Lake and I got such a charge watching the thousands of people who just finished the 5 miles race walking on the boardwalk. Plenty of families ran the race too. It was exhilarating to run in the sand, something I loath to do because of the difficulty, early in the morning, and being amongst others who value the healthy lifestyle. I suspect I would be better off hanging out with these fine folks at 9 AM, then slinking about the numerous Shore bars at 3 AM looking for happiness. Everyone was happy, and though it is only 5 miles, it is a race and people bragged about their times and hugged one another since it is such a festive gathering. According to Google maps I ran 2 miles on the beach - not on wet sand, but deep sand, which was a good little work-out, and my knee was really starting to throb, and swell. I saw some people I knew who ran the race after I got off the sand and onto Ocean Avenue, and blended in to bask in their glory. Really, I just wanted to grab some free bananas and water bottles!

Getting back before others woke up is a great feeling. I then hopped on a bike and rode to get food for me. The stores along the shore are all pizza, sandwiches, and fried foods, no fruit, no salads. I rode to a grocery store to load up on cherries, peaches, pineapple, apples, and of course oatmeal.

For lunch I road to the famous Klein's restaurant for some seafood. It's Memorial Day Weekend and the thought of clams and steamers and chowder was too irresistible. I go there at noon and the outside bar on the canal was filled with 40 people doing a 20 bar pub crawl on bikes. This was their second stop. Again, this is the culture I flirt with be it in the city, or on the Shore. I resisted the urge and stuck with water. The New England clam chowder was akin to anything you can get out of a can of Campbell's. It was chunky, and clearly filled with milk and butter and potatoes with a decent amount of clams. But it was not that great, and I remembered my new favorite clam chowder is the much healthier, and tastier, clear broth clam chowder popular in Rhode Island. The cherrystone clams were plump and good, and the steamers were also good, but it felt weird doing the traditional dip in melted butter. I preferred them without the butter. Although the clams were very good, it was not the "event" I was expecting.

One by one, food "events" were not what I expected them to be this past month. I finally had a hamburger. It was fine, but not some great experience, and I longed for a giant salad. Clearly, when you live your life around impulses, and making food an event (e.g. hot dogs and burgers at a Summer BBQ, fish and chips on a Dublin street, popcorn at a movie), you will often make the choice that is less healthy. At least that is how I lived my life.

After riding my bike for about 6 miles with groceries in hand it was good to get back home and prepare for the beach. The weekend was pretty much the same - alternating between healthy and terribly unhealthy living.

I made the dreaded pack with the Devil, "OK, after this Memorial Day Weekend it is back to clean living." Well, there will be a million of those exceptions this Summer, such as a guys RV trip to the middle of Pennsylvania this weekend to watch a race, and other big weekend events. Exceptions never, ever work for me. It has to be all or nothing. Probably, my biggest regret this weekend was not visiting beautiful St. Catherine's with my former girlfriend when she suggested it, but I was on the beach with my pals and a cooler filled with, well, you know. And I have been kicking myself ever since. Chasing fun like a dog chasing his tail, and all I have to show for it is exhaustion.

I plan on seeing Heather, and the Ladies of London in a few weeks here in NYC, and if I am not on the straight and narrow I will get an earful, so I expect to put my Memorial Day Weekend past behind me. Will I? Can I? Well, of course I can. Will I make the concerted effort to stay on this diet found in Eat to Live? Yes, but will I make it harder on myself by tempting myself at every corner? We will see.

Last night salmon, this morning fruit and also oatmeal. Going to the gym right now at lunch time!

Please Remember

This being Memorial Day Weekend I am reminded how lucky we are to live in such a great country.

Now, being that this little blog of mine is read in 38 different countries I want to be very clear about this strictly non-political post. Recently, I was at a panel discussion on Afghanistan that included Peter Galbraith the recent United Nations' Deputy Special Representative to that country. He is married to a woman from Denmark and he related a story about her saying how "appalled" she was when she visited the States after 9-11-01 and saw all these American flags, including overt displays of patriotism even in "liberal Cambridge, Massachusetts," she lamented. (Where Harvard is).

I never really understood how many in Europe bristle at the patriotism of Americans given the history of the 20th Century, and certainly in the aftermath of that horrible day 9 years ago. Well, I will choose to ignore Mr. Galbraith's wife and remember a Dutch woman named Bep Baltussen from Maastricht, Holland. I never met her, but after my grandfather was killed at the Battle of the Bulge on December 23, 1944 he was interned at the American Cemetery in Maastricht and this young woman adopted his grave being so thankful that the Americans (and British) liberated her country. With the parents, widow, and infant son (my father) thousands of miles away, Ms. Baltussen would plant flowers and tend to my grandfather's grave. She would correspond with my family after the war and send Christmas and Easter cards in Dutch. We have saved them these past 65 years. The "Greatest Generation" certainly extended around the world.

So, you will have to forgive my public pronouncement of thanks to the American soldiers, sailors, and airmen who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that I could live in freedom. This is not jingoism, this is honor and thankfulness.

Today in Times Square the United States Marines were holding a public demonstration of their equipment, and exhibitions in self defense, and music from the USO. ABC Morning Show was filming a segment outside as well, and I just marveled that I really do live in the greatest city in the world. The crossroads of the world is at my work's front door, and though I may bitch and moan about hapless tourists getting in my way as I rush home from work, today it gave me chills to watch these perfectly tailored and fit Marines interact with the public. Even the notoriously cynical NYPD were taking photos of these guys.

I asked one Major about their chow hall, and MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) in the field and he said that if someone wanted to eat strictly vegan in the Marine Corps they would have no problem doing so.

So, this weekend, I want to use my tiny pulpit to just say thank you to those who serve, and solemly remember the American soldiers, sailors, and airmen who gave their lives in defense of liberty around the world.

New Friends

Yesterday two very generous readers of My Vegan Quest, Sheila and Randy from Tennessee took me to lunch. I suggested we go to Red Bamboo in the Village. I sometimes write in a vacuum thinking nobody reads my words except for an email from time to time from my mother chastising me about a post which talks about my drinking too much. So it was refreshing to meet two strangers who know so much about me, but also derive pleasure from reading about my journey since they have similar successes and set-backs as I do -- and I imagine most people too.


We had the brussel sprouts rolls as an appetizer which are delicious. They look like egg rolls, and of course being fried, no matter how lightly, it would not be high on the list of true nutrient-dense eating.

A fellow next to us marveled at the presentation of our food, and asked if it was healthy. It was actually a very good question because as I have stated numerous times just being vegan does not mean eating healthfully. Now, compare my grilled "chicken" dish to a real grilled chicken meal from, say, and Applebee's and of course mine is much healthier. But, there is still probably too much oil, and salt used in these fine meals at Red Bamboo to be considered the pinnacle of healthy eating. However, if you want to eat a great meal void of all meat and dairy you can do no wrong with Red Bamboo!

I'll be down on the Shore this Memorial Day Weekend. Should be interesting!  I am bringing some vegan sausages to grill but will not be telling anyone.

Being the Hipster

Wednesday Night I went to a terrific event at the gorgeous space, Capitale on the Bowery. It was called The Kitchen Spring Gala. The Kitchen is an experimental art house, for lack of a better description. It is outside of my personal artistic predilections for Renoir, Pissarro, Wyeth, and Lyendecker, but it was an interesting and funky crowd. Being that it was in honor of the Talking Heads' David Byrne it was a roomful of cool and hip people, and I was merely on the outside looking in, but looking in with fascination.

I fell in love with this young singer Annie Clark (St. Vincent) who has a gorgeous voice, and was so charming to entertain my ham-fisted chat-up. By the end of our discussion I was promising to write her next song. Not once did she roll her eyes though the desire I am sure was there.

The food was typical for these Galas - salmon and vegetable that were overdone and oily. I did have a great conversation with my clients about my vegan journey and with another new audience I never tire of talking about my favorite subject. Not sure if I mean veganism, or just me?

When entertaining clients as you are literally rubbing elbows with David Byrne on one side, and actor Josh Hartman on the other it is very very very very hard to stick to just seltzer. By the end of the night I was chatting with an adorable woman, and excellent artist! http://www.erikascully.com/

And the Cough Stopped

I just realized something. For years I would often cough during or after I would eat - mostly during lunch. I became aware of it back in '94. It was not often after dinner, but always after lunch.


I went to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and there was nothing he could do - though I did get new X-Rays of my esophagus that was repaired when I was an infant. It looks like a heavily scarred thin hour glass. How did I get so big with such frighteningly fragile looking, reconstructed trachea and esophagus? How did I even play athletics? At birth I had Trachea Esophageal Fistula, so the better part of my first year on the planet was spent at Mather Air Force Base Hospital. Maybe I'll post a photo of me back during my incarceration -- think E.T. in diapers. Choking on food throughout my childhood was an all too common experience.

Well, the coughing problem in adulthood never went away - an annoyance really - and I just chalked it up to my esophagus knowing that to get food down through the eye of a needle it had to get my mucus membranes to work overtime.

Again, I never thought about until the last few days when I realized that for at least 16 years I would cough a few times after I ate my lunch, but all during the vegan quest I never would! And this has nothing to do with meat vs. salad since it would happen even after I had soup, or yes, even salad during my non-vegan days. It is highly curious that my body would produce more of that viscous liquid that would tickle my throat to cough a few times almost daily until I stopped all animal products. Very interesting - no nutritional info here, just I find it interesting.

Last night I got home late and decided to watch some baseball and drink some water at the Pig 'n' Whistle. They had a special salad that that was mixed greens, avocado, cherry tomatoes, and slices of grapefruit with a citrus dressing (very light on oil, but too much for me). Also included were calamari shells, or tubes, stuffed with crabmeat. I was nervous this would be fried, or the crabmeat would be loaded with mayo, but I was shocked at how fresh and pure both the squid and the crabmeat were!

I think if I have some sort of fish or chicken dish, I would prefer that most of the meal be an interesting salad. I would rather fill up on salad and not fish. I just feel better afterwards.