Let's Talk About TW

No, not him, rather, my Titular Weekend.

My weekend was fun, but this weekend, well, it was really in name only.

Let's start at the end - tonight I rolled into the Pig 'n' Whistle, and the bartender did a double-take saying that I look slimmer and slimmer each time I come in. I'm down 27 lbs.

Here is the deal, after 6 weeks 27 lbs is very good of course, but I am a bit stuck on the 24 lbs - 27 lbs lost. It goes slightly up and down each time I step on a scale. I am not losing as quickly as I want, and I think that is because I am not working out as hard as I should be! I think I will force myself to go 4 times per week - the intensity of the gym visits are too inconsistent.

So, my weekend on paper was quite fun and busy, but I was missing meat big time, and I felt at times like a shell not partaking in cocktails with friends.

This is the season for parties, and partying, and, well, cheer.

Friday night I met a close friend at Uva,the wine bar, and sipped seltzer water while the bar hummed with Christmas energy. It wasn't even the wine that had me pining for a glass, it was the giant wine list. So many choices, and I got to pick none of them! Then we went to a my good friend's Christmas Party. Food (Cheese and salmon) drinks (wine, beer, cocktails), cheer, plenty of cheer, and...seltzer water and an apple. I felt like an ass. Yes, it is great to shed the pounds, and yes, it is great to live a life in moderation, and yes, it is great to hear compliments, but damn it, it is wholly unnatural to stick out like a sore thumb amongst great friends who you have eaten and drank with for so many years. I mean, sure I had a nice time, and some laughs, but an element was missing. It is totally natural to wish people holiday cheer and clink cocktail glasses with your friends, and I felt unnatural! But, this is why I did this experiment now - to go through the Christmas Season and all the temptations. Not to feel miserable, but to celebrate my discipline. Well, I was disciplined, but hands down it would have been more fun if I ate and drank what everyone else was. But, I chose to take this challenge head-on, and that even meant I showed up with a fruit basket gift for my hosts!

Saturday I mixed up a great lunch. I chopped up my zucchini, squash, mushrooms, broccoli, snow peas, and my soy based "fake" meat. This time I used mush less ginger stir fry dressing. The pure taste of fresh vegetables fried up with soy meat was terrific. Love that feeling of being full, and knowing how healthy your meal was.

I went to MoMa for a private event and to see some exhibits. Nothing puts me in the mood for a nice glass of wine and cheese platter more than an art museum. I was so self conscious of what I was GIVING UP that I did not have as much fun. Then it was on to the Time Warner Center where a trip to the Stone Rose lounge - a bar that overlooks Columbus Circle, and dinner at Porter House New York just added to the pain.

Here is the deal: It is Christmastime, and on these weekends it is quite normal to have a couple of glasses of wine, or beer, or cocktails, maybe eat a bit more than normal, even have red meat. It is virtually tradition! Well, I miss those traditions, and I was bored stiff. The urges for meat and drink were because they go together with a Saturday on a cold December evening in NYC! It was not difficult in the hand-trembling, mouth-watering, hair-pulling way. Hell, I said no without much difficulty. But I hated saying no! At Porter House I had grilled brussel sprouts, a tomato and onion salad, and hash browns. Although each tasted delicious, there was too much oil on the brussel sprouts, as well as balsamic-mix dressing on the salad. I feel better, and actually the vegetables taste better when they are more natural, not spruced up with oils or dressing.

Sunday I had brunch at the Pig N Whistle - salad and fruit bowl. Very boring, and bland. I am better off making my own salads. Its obviously cheaper, and tastes better - but I can't shake the need to be around people, to do what I would normally do.

I had a huge sweet tooth on Sunday, and munched on a few jelly beans. Why I did it, I am not sure. I think I was almost rewarding myself for suffering through a pretty good weekend which missed a crucial element of fun by inhaling a handful of, essentially, sugar. I am not happy about that!

This evening I caught a theatre group performance which a friend was in - really good stuff! Again, lurking about the Lower East Side with friends after watching a small experimental theatre just begged for some normality, i.e. sitting in a quaint, funky bar and talking about what we just saw with glass in hand...it seems almost sacrilegious to slide into these unique LES places and order a seltzer. Well, by the evening I was spicing it up with some cranberry juice. We ended up at Stanton Social, and the four of us devoured a couple of orders of their edamamme in this peanut sauce. Exceptional.

Some more random bars, P.J. Clarke's, etc. Cold air, wreathes on the door, and festive music.

Yeah, it was a pretty good weekend, but I spent the entire weekend more aware, and more conscious, and more uncomfortable about what I am sacrificing than at any point since November 1.

But, I will end with this, I am still just as determined to lose the weight, and I have no plans to quit this endeavor at all!