Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Double Takes




I often get double-takes in the men's locker room.

Why?

Scarbelly.

I guess it is better than "Scarface."

Some guys will try to surreptitiously stare at my stomach when undressed. I have a very deep scar in the shape of a cross about 2"x1 1/2" just below my diaphragm. I grew up joking that I was shot by an Indian. I stopped being insecure about it in public - like at the beach - at a relatively young age. There is another more recent scar (second op.) 11" long running horizontally next to the cross scar down below by navel. My explanations have ranged from a gun shot, to knife fights, to shark attacks. Some gullible friends (notably, Jason the Adobe Exec.) believed my outrageous fictitious stories for years. I doubt his expression was much different when he learned there was no Easter Bunny when I came clean.

It's not horrid looking, I don't shirk in horror at the stares screaming, "I am not an animal!" But, I really hate guys in the locker room staring at my (ever slimming) scarbelly! It's rude! When one dumb soul asked about it, I just said, "Shark bite," and walked into the steam room. By the way, the Skeptical Doctor is currently surfing in El Salvador - I hope she avoids the real thing.

Another double-take is even more humorous, like what happened today.

I visited Green Symphony on 43rd at the suggestion of a reader. It is a tiny health food deli with a minimal salad bar, and extensive juice bar. There are a half dozen tiny tables wedged in the corner where I took a seat. I had a salad and a smoothie with soy milk. The deli was packed - mostly by "healthy" types - and there was not another person in the place in a suit and tie. It was mostly female, and a few slim theatre type guys, shabbily dressed and tattooed. Yeah, I had a few double-takes today!

For dinner I stopped off at the Turkish restaurant Dervish in Times Square for some hummus. That filled me up, but again, I am eating too much bread!

Speaking to my brave and classy great Aunt tonight who is stricken with cancer I am reminded of the quote by Virgil, "The greatest wealth is health."

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