Wading into Some Deep Philosophical Questions Here...Feel Free to Join in, or Throw Me a Life-Preserver.

The Lady of London posed a question to me, "What do you think of the female form?" This was in response to a discussion started by my friend from Junior High School who told me that she first bought diet pills in the 8th Grade, and first made herself vomit in 9th Grade (as well as other girls I knew). This was all quite shocking to me. My friend from Junior High School was discussing the obsession that women have with weight - even at such a young age, and even back when I could not recall just one girl in my class that was even remotely heavy. So why do women obsess over such things, and is it the fault of Madison Avenue, men, both? Or something else?


My friend prodded me since being a bachelor at 42 years of age I have had a few dates in my lifetime. And the Lady of London joined the debate with such a question of preference. I mean I guess I prefer blonds to brunettes, but I've dated more brunettes in my lifetime. Perhaps I find that perfect 10 body more desirable, but I certainly did not have an army of women with perfect 10 bodies hanging on my arm. And what is a perfect 10, anyhow? My "10" is not my friend's "10." And is rating women on a numerical scale just a tad sexist? I'm no Alan Alda, but still. Now, my buxom-loving buddy prefers women with a balcony you can do Shakespeare from, whereas I do not have such a predilection for the higher alphabets. I'm 6'4" and find myself more attracted to petite women, in fact when I was 300 lbs I dated a string of size 0's and 2's, but there were a handful of women 5'10 - 6' tall that I have dated as of late too. Now, can I appreciate the full figured, Rubenesque form? Most certainly! Have I been less attracted to a woman with a beautiful face and personality that could barely fit into my jeans - yes, I suppose I have.

Now, I think this infatuation with waifish, "Heroin chic" stick-thin bodies is outrageous, but nor do I find "body-by-McDonald's" attractive either. My friend said that she knows of no woman who is happy with their body, and who does not think they need to lose at least 10 lbs. I am not so sure, scary if it is true. That is why I applaud Dove's "Comfortable in your own skin" media campaign. I mean Marilyn Monroe would be considered very over-weight by today's fashion magazine standards, so it is good that these impossible standards are changing to be more realistic. However, with this tsunami-like focus on boosting self-esteem in young girls let us not allow over-eating and no exercise to be excused out of fear of damaging their sensitive feelings. I mean, no kid should be over-weight. I think there are tons of nuance when discussing the epidemic of childhood obesity and we should not walk on eggshells out of fear of some imagined new epidemic of Bulimia. It is not, in my opinion, convoluted or ambiguous to say to kids and teens: "You are over-weight, stop eating fast food and soda every day, and go outside and play or exercise" and in the same breath say, "By the way, plus size adult models are gorgeous too."

Yes, I have dated lots of women, but at no point did body type detract from the relationship at hand. I know one ex-girlfriend who is a size 0, double-take beautiful, has an amazing job that takes her to some of the most beautiful places in the world - in other words a great catch, but runs miles daily not because she loves it, but because she feels she needs to stay in shape to be more desirable to men. She can live at Taco Bell for 6 months and still turn heads. So, why this obsession?

It is obviously ingrained. The same mental state that makes a 13 year old girl stick her fingers down her throat in the school bathroom is the same mental state that made my friend in the Hamptons obsess for :30 minutes over which sandal was "cuter" to wear before going out. I assured her at no point will any straight man in any bar in the Hamptons ever, ever look to see what sandals she (or any other woman) is wearing. So how do man's qasi-Neaderthal disposition force some women to worry so much about those extra pounds as to sometimes be dangerous? I really don't know. But, I do know, rather, I strongly believe there is no such thing as a perfect " female form."

So, as a single man in New York City let me answer the Lady of London's question: "What do you think of the female form?" Answer: I like it.